My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
I am the master of subtle flirting. I seduced him by simulating a hand job with an epi-pen during training.
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
I smoked that joint really fast and now I'm so high I'm crawling around on all 4 giving my dogs piggie back rides pretending its the macy day parade for dogs and I'm their giant human float.
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
Randomize
