i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
I think she just tried to waterboard me with her vagina.
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
Do you remember making out with the dude in the back of my cab last night?? You said his mustache tickled your tongue.
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
I sent him a tex saying, "I thought my intentions were clear" drunk me has some balls.
Randomize