Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
My mom asked me to donate my child hood stuffed animals to the poor then I realized I was hiding liquor behind them. I told her I was too attached to them. She understood. Wrong in so many ways.
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
I forgot that I thought it would be a good idea to hairspray my toilet seat last night after I took 12 shots of vodka so when I just went to pee, I stuck to the toilet. Never drinking again.
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
ETSY JUST SENT ME AN EMAIL WITH THE SUBJECT "SUMER ROMANCE" I'M BEYOND FUCKING DONE
I did it again.
I drunk texted John McCain.
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
Randomize
