i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
I just remembered that I did shots out of a gay mans crotch. And there's someone saved in my phone as "Miranda knows where my car is"
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
are you still alive?
no.
i'll cry at your funeral. and leave a burrito by your tombstone
I'm gonna have to start putting baby wipes and a change of pants in my bag. The amount of times I'm scared of shitting my pants in public is too high and I need the reassurance
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
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