I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
No, we will not be going out tonight. We are trying to grow the toy donkey in whiskey rather than water. Serious fucking science. Have fun at the boring bar while we Bill Nye it up in this bitch.
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
But being sober is boring. Everything takes so long, I feel like I'm just waiting in line to die.
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
Randomize
