yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
two more shots til everyone in this club gets to see my cesarean scars.
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
At least drunk me was smart enough to stash toilet paper in my bag before I started my walk home. Finally countless squat pees and wiping with grass taught me to be prepared.
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
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