Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
Erica just called me. She woke up in a storage closet in Mike's building with one shoe and no bag. Can you check your photos from last night to see if she had it at the bar?
i just discovered how you can fold down the cardboard sleeve on a hot pocket. Life just got a whole lot easier.
the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
Some chick is drunk waving down a taxi with a slice of pizza.
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
I feel like I've wasted too many painkillers on hangovers
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
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