so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
There was an unopened condom by my car when I went to pick it up this morning. Someone may have fucked on the hood of my car last night. Don't think it was me but I can't rule it out 100%.
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
Next time you decide to post pictures of yourself in your underwear on facebook, please don't tag me as your bulge.. My mom spent 10 minutes looking for me in that picture. I had to tell her I was hiding.
The seven of us sank the first paddle boat, but the second one was much nicer and we stayed afloat. Best night in a while, but we had to walk of shame for a mile.
Why are you rhyming?
Too stoned. That is how my thoughts are collecting.
I'm a freaking penguin. one mate for life, and really awkward at parties
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
Randomize
