I failed the drunk obstacle course of trying to find my bed... consolation prize... a sore ankle and "disappointed' parents.
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
quitting drinking is the number 5 new years resolution but number 4 is enjoying life more which one do you think im going to pick
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
Hey ER girl, its the EMT you beat at blowjobs shots last night.
That is the scariest sentence I have ever read.
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
Randomize
