would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
The only reason I kept his number in my phone for so long is so that hed pay for my abortion.
You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
Just realized my relationship wasn't even Facebook official and I'd already cheated on him. 'Shitty girlfriend' is an understatement.
Themes for tonight: men who look like bill Gates but sing smash mouth songs. Women who's names are also food. Haircuts that DO NOT cover bald spots.
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
Randomize
