Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
i wasnt laughing because you were puking, i was laughing because three yards away there was a couple seriously getting it on
continuing my moment killer tradition in the best possible way
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
I just sent a Slack that autocorrected tomorrow to gonorrhoea. Please note that Slack autocorrect isn’t very good.
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