I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
I just woke up on an unfamiliar floor, my shoes are gone, my suits covered in red lipstick and chocolate, and Im wearing sunglasses that say "Maid of Honor".God damnit I love this country.
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
I gave him a HANDJOB.
But then he finished from a handjob in under two minutes so who's really laughing?
Ever had one of those went so hard last night you woke up at the foot of the bed naked wondering where your phone ended up?
Randomize
