hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
Girl just texted me a pic of her boobs with the caption "don't think I'm a whore"
It was only 12:11 and I needed to make a Pepto Latte and call it a night, I don't remember that being part of my new years resolution.
Please don't let me drink ever again. I apparently told him he could stay but as there was no room in the bed he'd have to lie on top of me and he'd need to anchor himself on with his penis so he didn't fall off.
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
I've never been so drunk at home. I just sat on the toilet playing with toilet paper for ten minutes, I almost made a paper crane.
Randomize