It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
My mom assumed I was crying because he was leaving. Figured that was better than explaining my eye's sensitivity to semen..
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
Please tell me you woke up next to the hot one cause his ugly friend is still snoring in my bed and my favorite panties are ripped.
Wingwoman of the year. I'll buy you dinner tonight and a new thong. It was THAT good.
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
Randomize
