Things I find upon waking: a gay man, a straight girl both clad in web bathing suits, a full bathtub, an empyt bottle of jamesons at the bottom and a scuba mask
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
She has an emergency bra in her purse. I'm gonna check no on the 'introducing her to my new boyfriend' box.
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
I literally walked into the toilet, looked at my reflection, said "alcohol" and went back to bed...
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
My mom and sister were over. When my drunk roommate came home, he yelled "GOT BITCHES IN MY CONDO"
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
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