it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
Girls should come with a carfax report
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
We're like adult pinky and the brain when they decided that taking over the world is unrealistic so they aim lower by trying to get drunk every day.
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
They picked up the lamp, held it aloft, and proclaimed apropos of nothing “this is going right up my ass”. LOUDLY
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
Randomize
