I wish i was in the wii world.
My cousin's dog just exhaled smoke. My job here is done.
Fun fact: female penguins have sex in exchange for pebbles to build nests. I now know what im being for halloween
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
Please don't let me drink ever again. I apparently told him he could stay but as there was no room in the bed he'd have to lie on top of me and he'd need to anchor himself on with his penis so he didn't fall off.
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
Yeah if I don't text back. I'm eating. sleeping. Or lifting. Or drinking. Or playing call of duty. Like shit man
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
I'm pretty sure the guy who was grinding on me while I was trying to get a drink at he bar was one of my tinder matches
So. Much. Porn.
Randomize
