I wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commercials.
so I called to to smoke and you didn't pick up so I smoked and now I'm a race car
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
So it looks like you may be an uncle real soon. Don't ask how I feel about it and don't text me back.
Theres a live mouse in the toilet. Goddamn you this is why I don't party here
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
I just had sex on my divorce papers. I've never felt so poetic.
I was masterbating to some porn on my phone and my mom decides to text me "are you okay?" I mean i was doing great until you cock blocked me mom..
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
Randomize
