whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
I woke up with spaghetti in my mouth
Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
Randomize
