well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
My biology professor just used the phrase "dick fairy" in a sentence. No, it didn't make more sense in context.
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
If our text convos ever saw the light of day lives would be in tatters
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
i gotta say this to some one...... my penis feels sooooooooo sooooooft, its amazing
like for real, sooooooooooooooo smoooooooooooooth its amazing
I can't wait for you to read this text tomorrow
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
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