I start off june hungover/still drunk stumbling down my driveway with the trashcan at 6am..it's gonna be an interesting month
Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
Puked in a plastic neiman Marcus bag while driving. My biggest accomplishment yet
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
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