spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
i was out of cigarettes so i took the butts out of the ashtray, emptied them out, and proceeded to roll one big Frankenstein cigarette.
vagina is talking i cant
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
I'm a bit offended I got no nudies back but it's whatever
They're in the mail. Snapchats too fast. I want the suspense.
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
I cried at the bar for 30 minutes because I got my arm stuck in my sweater. I got free drinks for the rest of the night after the bartender helped me.
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
Is it weird that I'm mad at my boss because he isn't paying me enough attention? Maybe my dad issues are worse than I thought
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
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