You work out of a Hotel?
You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
I love you but this is the first Saturday I have ever spent at the police station. And where are my boxers?
I never thought my gollum impression would lead to me getting laid.
Huzzah!
Auto correct isn't even working for how drunk you are
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
Randomize
