I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
We walk out of his house and his dad is there, so I had to meet him and shake his hand pretending that same hand hadn't been down his son's pants five minutes earlier
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
her facebook's as public as her vagina
I went to check the drunk texts i sent last night but my phone deleted them already. Even my phone is ashamed.
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
Best thing I ever did was get a dog. She's like a living trip alarm to warn me of visitors while I'm masturbating.
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
Randomize
