I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
Her birthday cake consisted of a shot of tequila with a candle in it
So I just tried to wake him up with a blow job and he literally touched the top of my head and said snooze button
We tried to break her futon, I crushed my balls instead. You have one less reason to be jealous that my balls are insanely huge and yours are not.
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
I believe its time to stop celebrating Thanksgiving. I've been drunk for over a week. If my liver doesn't give out, and I'm not pregnant I will truly have something to be thankful for.
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
Ugh hungover at a laundromat is a terrible feeling. For some reason I keep getting sucked into staring at the clothes spinning around and around and it makes me want to profusely projectile vomit everywhere
Randomize
