If I were a woman I'd fill my water bra with liquor so that I could sip on it throughout the day.
Turns out he's not gay. He just didn't know how else to say he's not into me. He just hit on my sister.
If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
Randomize
