So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
Sober January is a disaster.
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
...oh my god that's like anal suicide
I'm aware. I'm writing the eulogy for my colon as we speak.
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
Autocorrect changes "sex" to "sec". I have been so long without it my phone thinks I made a mistake.
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