I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
just licked whipped cream off some model's nipple... just coming clean for when the pic gets on instagram because i am not untagging that shit
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