I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
A few things for you to consider: 1. Drunk enough that I'm looking up the dictionary definition of Wish. 2. Dictionary.com has new features. 3. Windows is offering me 500 business cards for 5 bucks. 4. I've always wanted a card that says I'm a ninja
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
Randomize
