I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
i woke up hungover wearing my gym shorts and the condom from last night. Wine bar thursdays rule.
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
I'm so high that I'm intently watching my neighbor move his car back and forth in order to put his motorcycle in the garage, and getting irritated that it seems so complicated.
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
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