Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
who put toothpaste on EVERY doorknob in my house?!
I know it was you because you're the only person I know who gets drunk and craves soup.
Soup is delicious
Johns diaper came in the mail. He's freaking out thinking there's some conspiracy going on since he sharted on the drive home from st. Louis
Im playing the how drunk can i get before my card declines game. being single sucks. But getting drunk after work alone in fridays on a wenesday night sucks way more.
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
I hit a child with a fudge sickle from a moving vehicle after he flipped me off, I feel like a God. Tell no one. My partner didn't see it.
If, when you wake up, you're wondering why you're in the bathtub, it's because when I tried to move you, you yelled that that was cheating and tried to kick me in the face.
Fair enough.
Please tell me I was just dreaming when I asked if I could borrow your jesus dildo
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
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