sometimes i just want to live alone. my roommate keeps looking at me weird like hes never seen a girl eat plain salt before
god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
This is my life. Enjoy the view
I did this clutch move yesterday at the bar where I grabbed a plastic cup for water and discreetly threw up in it while walking around and then tossed it. It was my best boot and rally ever
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
Randomize
