my drunk uncle just explained that turkeys are not gentle lovers... and no context doesn't make it better.
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
Holy shit, we're married as fuck.
I need a hoe opinion
go on
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
Randomize
