So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
Just mixed my liver cleanse with Bacardi. Best. Thing. Ever.
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
We're snowed in with only two condoms. This will literally be valentines day russian roullette.
I need to wake up with a beard between my thighs more often, I'm a fucking saint.
In reference to the club we were headed to our cab driver told us about the time he had sex with a woman on the dance floor there. And what do you know, they're celebrating their 22 marriage anniversary together this year! True love does exist!
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
Just walked outside my house; realized I wasn't wearing any pants after about 3 minutes or so.
Drunk, high, hungover?
...I wish I had an excuse.
Ugh. My life is a never ending cycle of bad decisions and taquitos.
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
Randomize
