wrigley field is MILF paradise
I miss you like a fat girl misses the prom.
after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
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