come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
I woke up in bed alone w 2 bite marks on my boob... Salt and pepper shakers In my purse along w a bottle of steak sauce.... The drunkasauraus has struck again
Well... first you killed the girls goldfish, then you shoved her face in your armpit, made her cry, got kicked out, ate your cigarettes, and passed out in her driveway. Pretty successful night if you ask me
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
Randomize
