If I were a woman I'd fill my water bra with liquor so that I could sip on it throughout the day.
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
She called me Spock and proceeded to ask me to 'teach her the ways of the force'. I just couldn't do it after that. No way am I fucking a girl who can't tell the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek.
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
Apparently blowing a .28 for a cop and then kissing her on the mouth is technically assaulting a police officer. Who knew.
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
A dude just looked at me like my drunk swaying was corrupting his progeny DUDE YOUR KID HAS A MULLET YOU'VE ALREADY RUINED HIM
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
"I'm a professor to university students" I say as I realize I have a nipple piercing that I have no memory of getting
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
Randomize
