i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
decision: in honor of being in new orleans this weekend all my drunk texts will be en francais
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
You kept showing the cop the bruises on the bottoms of your feet and claiming you were a medical mystery.
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
In the future, could you not call me 'bro' while we're having sex?
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
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