why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
I tried to go shot for shot with some guy called "shit show martinez"
just found my calculator watch from 6th grade. the hipster transformation is complete
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
A 3am FaceTime to go to IHOP is the closest thing to a bootycall that I'm getting
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
Baked out of my mind. Went in the bathroom, a daddy long leg spider and a carpenter ant are battling it out on the floor. I brought my computer with some dubstep.
OMG THE ANT WON
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
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