yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
Quick, to the slutcave!
Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
this morning my mom told me to get a new vibrator because mine was too loud last night
i fell asleep watchin iron chef that was the blender she heard. i dont even own a vibrator
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
I keep telling girls I work at the carnival and then guessing their weights. I'm pretty sure I'm about to get kicked out.
Are you sighing at your phone and judging me right now?
Things I learned last night: 1. Bacardi 151 is a one-way ticket to the toilet, 2. It is possible for a human being to turn into Mount Vesuvius
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
WHO GIVES HANDJOBS AT 8 IN THE FUCKING MORNING
Had phone sex with my boss who I still haven’t seen in person. How’s your Monday ?
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
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