): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
Todays life lesson brought to you by last nights half pitchers of cheap sangria: you'll never get the stain or the SMELL of sangria vomit out of your bedroom carpet.
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
Jamie's fucking a senior citizen and I'm eating chips and salsa in the shower at 2am, so whatever you're doing it can't be worse.
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
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