Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
mom and grandma are in town. grandma wants to get drunk with you
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
You couldn't find any paper towel to clean up the wine you spilled, so you tried to use her cat.
ooh i remember now. Not very absorbent.
Nope. She just screamed at me "YOU WERE A FAILED ABORTION" and "I'LL PUT ANTHRAX IN YOUR PILLOW YOU LITTLE FUCK". Best mother award ever
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
I know you just got dumped by your gf but believe there is still good in the world. I just smoked a joint and took a fucking unbelievable poop. Give me a call tomorrow.
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
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