If i come over, it means nothing
Wearing these hooker shoes was a mistake
When i woke up this morning she asked me 'when did you first find out that you could see the future.' I gotta stop drinking.
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
We had sex on a dog bed..
Right as the plane left the gate the brownies kicked in. I dont think the guy next to me appreciated my engine noises as we took off
I'm about to eat a honey mustard chicken salad on the toilet while I try to shit. You really think I care about what "kind of guy he is?" The fuck out of here.
If you don't care, I don't. Good luck finding prince charming.
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
Randomize