Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
I drank like a thousand beers last night and my poo is solid, not gross like usual. I think this means I've grown up.
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
He says he quit drinking. I'd like to have a moment of silence for losing the best drunken hookup ever. We will build a memorial to his awesome cock.
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
I'm putting his belongings the garage sale so he can buy his own stuff back. # divorced life. Thanks for cheating on me you tone deaf dick biscuit that'll be $20. Haha.
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
Randomize
