I'm not crazy, I only keep calling you cause you won't pick up.
spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
I hope the prosecutor is a dude cause my lawyer is hot.
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
I recorded his orgasm, set it as his ringtone, and called him while they were singing happy birthday to his mom. Yeah, revenge is sweet.
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
I should have bailed a long time ago. I mean, he has a bible verse-a-day app next to his dick pics in his phone.
How do you initiate sexting are u supposed to be like yo I'm peeing and eating a clif bar and texting and thinking about you naked all at the same time
I have just been informed that my company has ray guns. I WORK FOR ACTUAL BOND VILLAINS. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
I went to the strip club tonight. I had never gone, and in a panic I gave the dancer giving me a lap dance a handshake and introduced myself. Redefines business casual.
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
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