well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
He seemed genuinely disappointed when I told him I wasn't going to make out with him to Bring Me To Life by Evanescence so I feel like I've pinpointed the breaking point of this relationship
Why was I so drunk last night that I licked the bar and then the bartenders face? Why didn't you stop me? We can never go back there.
Either my apartment is haunted or I'm far more drunk than I thought
he high fived his dick after we had sex
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
Randomize
