i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
I wanna tell red shirt guy I'm pregnant and use the abortion money for Coachella.
She thought someone was breaking in but when I said it was me she got even angrier and threw a coffee mug at my head.
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
My dad, when he got home and saw me loading a bowl in the living room: "We have TWO beautiful balconies to get high on and you pick the couch?!"
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
Stop saying "make it happen". I'm not gonna say "hey, you should get naked with your sister and roll around together while I penetrate you both"
Yes. Do not say that. That will not make it happen.
Still. Make it happen
my nose is crying tears of wow.
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
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