with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
I deleted his number so I had to go into my old voicemails which are saved through my gmail and search his name... Never underestimate the resourcefulness of a drunk girl on a mission for dick
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
Randomize
