Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
Just saw a guy I fucked in a clown suit in the bar. It's not Halloween. I have got to start making better life decisions.
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
I think I just found my soul mate...he's wearing a zebra striped onesie and is into Michael Jackson...I'll explain in the morning.
Randomize
