That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
Girl just texted me a pic of her boobs with the caption "don't think I'm a whore"
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
When She took off her bra.... A tube of lipgloss, her phone, I.D. And a wad of twenties fell out.... I'm officially no longer a butt man
Any coincidence your getting married tomorrow and it's the most predicted day for the rapture? Just saying
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
I look like a hot mess, emphasis on the hot now, more emphasis on the mess later
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
A reply to my tweet is getting more likes than mine, the disrespect is real
Randomize
