I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
I'd be a gr8 surrogate. I'm gonna love your fetus
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
Did you put pizza in my boxers last night?
I left you 4 hours ago. Have you been walking around with shit in your pants all day?
Shitty. Well if it makes you feel any better I just had a toothless wasted crackhead in my bar who was mad because there are TOO MANY FUCKIN TREES in Nantucket.
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
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