Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
OH GOOD GOD THE BUFFALO WING SAUCE IS BURNING MY FUCKING CUNT. WHY THE FUCK DID I AGREE TO SPICY AND NOT MILD
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
This toilet bowl is my home.
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
Randomize
