ok, I understand that your bathroom door is broken, but at least close the blinds next time you take a shit. The entire parking garage just watched you.
so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)
i'm so jealous of you right now.
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
The owner of this phone is no longer accepting texts from liars, assholes or married men. You figure out which one applies.
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
Randomize
