I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
She was so adorably desperate I didn't have the heart to tell her I wasn't a lesbian. So now She's making waffles, may switch teams over this.
I legitimately just tried to piss above my head. I got to my chest at highest. There's piss everywhere.
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
Randomize
