Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
Can you explain to me the broken disco ball in my front yard?
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
Look, when i woke up this morning, I had every intention of being a responsible twenty-five year old, cleaning up, making my budget, and filing my taxes. Its just I got siderailed by pot and downloading classic Disney songs, because fuck adulthood; everyone loves Disney.
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
Randomize
