This girl told me I had the balls of an infant..I replied by saying her vagina looks like Stargate.
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
Let me clarify that those tears were for losing my fuck buddy and his penis, not to the fact that he decided he wanted an actual relationship with feelings.
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
Randomize
